busy yet productive

     So lately ive been real busy with the holiday and the start back of school. I've been in a pretty good mood most of the time during the last week but find my irritable attitude still popping up occasionally. My son just turned 21 month and has been excepted by a program called early steps due to some developmental issues like communication and attention span as well as the hitting of his head many times a day. I'm upset that he's having these issues but I'm very happy that he's getting the early intervention help that he needs as well as me and my husband getting help to understand him and communicate with him better. My husband lost his previous job but thankfully within two days got offered a completely different type of a position as a nurse in a jail instead of nursing home work as usual. I'm very excited for him to begin working hopefully this week.
     I had to change my school schedule last week because one of my classes only had two students in it and it made me feel uncomfortable being the only female. I feel kind of bad for the teacher because its the only class he had this term but the program manager could not guarantee that other students would join the class so I had to be removed. I got put into a class called effective writing in business and this teacher is fairly new not just to this college but teaching period. She's pretty sporadic in her teaching and finds it hard to stay on one topic for a length of time which makes it difficult for me to follow. She also seems to have trouble thoroughly explaining how she expects assignments to be accurately completed. I'm still unsure of how she wants the email done for the previous class that I had to miss due to my class switch.
     I need to continue to keep in prayer about these things and that life keeps going in the positive direction but I also need to remember that when bad things happen theres always a lesson to learn from it and instead of freaking out over it I need to stop and pray and think about it before impulsively reacting.

I may be saved but im sure not perfect

     Well I failed again today but God picked me up dusted me off and got me back on track! The day started off good, We took our son to KFC for lunch, went to the park, and then to walmart. Sounds like an average Saturday to me lol! Well then my husband got the statement from the board of nursing that we were waiting for and my fear set in yet again. I read the statement from my husbands previous job and became infuriated. Well instead of properly taking my anger out on positive things I took my anger out on my husband and blamed him for things that were not his fault and said things that I should never had said. This in turn made my son start crying and screaming cause he reacts very badly to loud noise especially screaming. I felt so bad afterward but it still took me awhile to calm down. Well God got me up from this and I then proceeded to help my husband write his statement to the board of nursing. I sent it to a friend in the legal field and she said it was nicely written! That made me feel good not only about myself but that my schooling is actually paying off.
I need to learn to process my thoughts better before reacting in fear. Ive been praying about it for awhile but I need to learn to put my faith into action better. I also know though that it is all about practice not perfection and I will never be perfect because only God is perfect!
On another note my mother was released from the hospital today and even though her kidney has gotten worse her levels did get a little better yesterday so they will inevitably need to start dialysis but they will be able to still prolong it for still awhile longer yet. I do believe that this is still good news! I know my mom is very sick but I pray that she continues to take care of herself properly because she has family that truly does love her and wants her around for many more years to come!

intro and recent struggles

     Ok so I've been having some struggles lately and decided that blogging may be beneficial for my recovery process. Let me first introduce you to myself. My name is Maribeth and im a 31 year old married mother of a 20 month old little boy. I am also a recovering IV drug addict and have been clean for almost 2 and a half years. Im also in college and my main goal is to work in the area of victim advocacy helping teenagers who have been caught up in the sex traffic industry.
     Ok so now that Ive introduced myself let me talk a little about my current situations. My husband is an LPN nurse and has been struggling with his job lately as well as issues with his former job. so now ive been trying to look into legal advice to help him with his issues as well as help him possibly get another job. Well on top of that weve both been dealing with our son who is being evaluated for possible asbergers syndrome. He slams his head a lot and has a lot of trouble with sensory issues. If this is not enough I got a call yesterday morning that my mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital. My dad found her unconscious in bed foaming at the mouth. Long story short her kidney is failing and it is hurting her blood sugar. Her blood sugar keeps bottoming out and they cant get it to stay up. Ive been trying to cling to God through all of this but I have to admit I fail daily! I have trouble relying on faith and give it to God only to take it back 5 minutes later. Some how I think I can fix it all on my own even though logically I know that that has never worked before.
     On another note school starts next week and again im negatively projecting that this term is going to be harder than the last. I struggle with organization issues and tend to procrastinate. This term my goal is to try and not only better organize my papers but my time as well. I need to better prioritize my school work as well as family things and housework. Im sure many other parents can relate to what im going through but with adding being a recovering addict to the mix my old character defects tend to pop up and become a problem. Ive been talking to my counselor and going to celebrate recovery meeting but I feel like blogging will help me get more off my chest